What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 01:09
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Why is there so much evil in the world?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
What are some ways to cope with paranoid thoughts about being gangstalked or targeted individuals?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
What is the American mobile phone number format?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
How do you get started in bestiality with a dog as a male?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Why do I feel worthless most of the time?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
What made you feel satisfied about your life today?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
TEXT:
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.